


Always Check the Name Plaque (alternatively - why one student will never again drink energy drinks, for fear of the result)

by temperature_is_fake



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Monster- Energy Drink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 13:51:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19724968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/temperature_is_fake/pseuds/temperature_is_fake
Summary: Professor Holmes reached into his drawer, and drew out the largest can (bottle? Vat? Keg?) of Monster I had ever seen. Still am I shaken by its enormity. I googled it, later. That size is well past the legal amount. Thelegal amount. That there was a “legal” amount of Monster, I wish I never knew.-------A Modern Sherlock Holmes Take





	Always Check the Name Plaque (alternatively - why one student will never again drink energy drinks, for fear of the result)

My professor is a well-mannered fellow. He teaches me Chemistry 101, which most professors have called "below" him. Typically, he teaches Forensic Science and Psychology, the really specialised classes, but this last year he's changed drastically. Even more so than the years the rumours said he changed five years ago, when he had a bit of a turn-around. He's a good teacher, fairly hands-on, though I have no idea what’s happening in chemistry class at any given time, but again, that’s more of my own fault.

He’s been taking me through what appears to be a fairly simple explanation of the spaces between electrons and atoms and all that (I still only half understand, if I’m being honest. My brains not in it today, I’m still stuck on the news from our newly-dubbed Professor “Over-share”. He’s married to Professor “Brick-wall” ( _not_ a new name), and somehow found time to distract from our English Language class to give us some choice details. I mean, he was a bit TMI already but this has reached new heights! I regress…) when he paused and asked if we could continue this on the walk to his office, as he really did need to get there between classes to pick up some newly graded homework.

Obviously, I agreed, as I suddenly found myself with a billion questions (most had to do with the Flash, and whether he really would be able to “vibrate” his atoms like that). We strode through the school, finally stopping at his office.

Once asked my Flash question, he told me it was an “interesting” query, and could I give him a minute, he only needed to grab his “energy-booster”. I presumed he meant… coffee, you know, like a _normal_ teacher. Of which I had previously thought he was.

I was so very wrong on that front.

Professor Holmes reached into his drawer, and drew out the largest can (bottle? Vat? Keg?) of Monster I had ever seen. Still am I shaken by its enormity. I googled it, later. That size is well past the legal amount. The _legal amount_. That there was a “legal” amount of Monster, I wish I never knew.

He chugged it. I watched, horrified, awestruck, and itching to call the campus nurse. Finally, he put the can back down, turned to me, and began formulating an answer to my question. It obeyed the laws of the DC universe, it was factual, it was humorous. It was normal. He seemed perfectly… normal. The same as he’d always been in class. Not a _hint_ of having _chugged_ the _worlds biggest_ energy drink in one whole go.

I thanked him, and fled. As I did so, I sneaked a look at his name plaque. (I’ve found, recently, that name plaques are key to discovering why a person is… Like That. Of course, Finding out Professor Fell’s real name was Aziraphale had, however, created more questions than it answered. None-the-less, finding out Professor Granger’s first name was Hermione _had_ helped, so at this point, I may as well double-check _all_ their name plaques. No point in wasting an opportunity and all that).

His plaque read: Professor Sherlock Holmes.

In addition, in smaller, hand scrawled text with a permanent marker: Please Let Dr John Watson through into my office after-hours if he requests it.

Then, in entirely _different_ handwriting: Dear Cleaners, if you happen to find any energy drinks, please remove them at your earliest convenience. 

That last part was half covered in lines, a futile attempt to remove it. 

I left.

**Author's Note:**

> https://lorynrichee.tumblr.com/post/186134040631/domicileensnared-aerialsquid-ratcoded-the  
> I had a sudden burst of inspiration, and just had to do my own take of this.  
> https://techcrunch.com/2009/07/16/monster-bfc-officially-takes-energy-drinks-too-far/  
> This was my research. The recommended "dose" is one can per day. Sherlock drinks about 3, sometimes five if its a long day. John is. very worried.


End file.
